Everyone who knows me is aware that moutain climbing is my sport. I’m definitely not a fan of table tennis and I wasn’t particularly ecstatic about watching how a forgone conclusion unfolds at the finals of the women’s table tennis match. But between the predictable game and an equally predictable speech with a chorus of civil servants cracking up at unfunny jokes, I would choose to watch the former.

No surprises, Li Jiawei et al lost the game to the Chinese team and brought home Singapore’s deperately needed silver medal. Throughout the game, a non-fan like myself was neither paying attention to the score nor the lightning fast strokes. Quite noticeable, however, was the coldness that Li Jiawei showed towards her ex-compatriots and vice versa. Did they need to make it so obvious? I thought we could tell they were from opposing teams from the colour of their shirts.

Another interesting observation. The Chinese spectators were not only cheering for their own team, they were also cheering for the Singapore team. Apparently, they were as happy about their country’s victory as they were about ours. How nice. Well, we lost, but we also won. Can we say the same for the Chinese supporters?

Many people must be cheering when our girls received their silver medals, but frankly, I’m disappointed. Why? Didn’t Li Jiawei put up a good fight and were clearly no match for the Chinese team? Aren’t the girls all holders of our precious little pink IC and can probably mouth the lyrics of our National Anthem?

No, I’m definitely not disappointed with the girls. However, being a kiasu Singaporean, I am very disappointed with the folks who naturalise foreign athletes. If they could naturalise silver medalists like Li Jiawei and Feng Tianwei, why didn’t they go one step further and naturalise Zhang Yining and Wang Nan. That would win us the gold medal instead, wouldn’t it (what’s wrong since other countries are doing it)?

And why just stop at table tennis? Why not just give Ronald Susilo the boot and bring badminton player Lin Dan in as well? Give him an offer he can’t refuse. Make sure that his girlfriend follows him. That way, we kill 2 birds with … I think we still need 2 stones.

Yeah. Naturalise all of them. Our folks will love them. China will definitely still love them. Cheer on, Singapore. Cheer on, China. We all need some excuse to celebrate.

Li Jiawei shows us home is where the heart is.

Come on, Jiawei. All your tear-jerking, heart-warming memories are in China and with Chinese people. Singapore reminds you of 48 mosquito bites? Can’t you even make something up? Maybe some Singaporean licked your tears when you were crying. Not even that bit of contribution to your success. Perhaps the most telling part of the interview is what she said at the end.

希望在2008。。我自己又是个北京人，又是个中国人。。我希望能在自己的本土。。地盘上能够取得一枚奖牌。

Posted: August 19th, 2008 under Uncategorized.
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One of my favourite dishes at the basement food court of Lucky Plaza is the stewed beef brisket 牛腩. The stall is managed by a Chinaman and a female colleague. I had no problems with them until one fine day when a group of 4 very well-dressed Chinese beauties came to the Asian Food Mall at Lucky Plaza. One of the ladies was just leaving the stall with her food when I arrived and placed my order for the beef brisket. I was placing chopsticks, spoon and chilli sauce on my tray when the lady turned back and placed another order.

The Chinaman quickly proceeded to prepare the lady’s order. I waited. Her dish was ready and the stallholder put it on my tray - all prepared with chopsticks, spoon and chilli sauce to boot. He wanted to hand everything over to the Chinese lady. I felt it was unfair and gently protested.

“这是我拿的。”I said, pointing to my tray.

The Chinaman refused to place the lady’s dish on another tray and let her get her own chopsticks, spoon and chilli sauce.

“这是我自己拿的。”I repeated.

At this point, the Chinaman looked annoyed and seemed about to throw the dish into my face.

“不是你的!” he insisted.

Walking away might have been a little petty. Furthermore, I had already paid. And fighting with a Chinagirl for a tray would certainly not be the right thing to do. She must be enjoying the good service - another customer getting the chopsticks, spoon and chilli sauce for her. Not only was I bullied by having my order pushed back when she came back to order after me, I now had to surrender the chopsticks, spoon and chilli sauce I took to her. What to do?

As I stood there, looking disgusted, it suddenly dawned on them that I’ve been treated unfairly. The Chinaman put the lady’s dish on another tray and asked her to get her own chopsticks. She walked off, expressionless. The stallholder muttered an apology and my order was finally ready. I’ll never go back to that stall again.

But I still can’t explain why they behaved the way they did. In China, someone in my position would have spat and hurled expletives at them. One thing’s for sure, the more mild-mannered and forgiving people in our society are bound to be taken for granted by a rapidly growing immigration of 欺善怕恶 folks from a very different society.

Alas, we have no choice. The 4 pretty but nasty ladies could well be table tennis players. They could be Singapore’s only hope for an Olympic medal when Li Jiawei springboards her way to the US/Canada/Australia or even back to China. If the 4 ladies were beef promoters, we may risk having no one to promote our national beer. Shouldn’t we just swallow our pride, let them in and treat them as our own even though the feeling is not mutual?

A friend once said that we shouldn’t feel that way because Singapore is an immigrant society after all. Yes, my parents came here from Malaysia. But how many contributions have they made to this country? How many economic recessions have they endured? They went through thick and thin with the nation. They were poor, working class folks who were never given any attractive packages or welfare. What about these new, pampered “immigrants”?

把新加坡当跳板，算什么移民?

Posted: August 14th, 2008 under Uncategorized.
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What’s your favourite item in yesterday’s NDP? The fireworks? The flypast? The aerial acrobatics? The jetskis?

I didn’t watch most of the performances after dark, but my favourite “performance”, exclusive on Channel 8, has to be the wish for “国泰平安” from members of the public who were interviewed at Marina Bay. Those of us who are not so blur will realise that it ought to be “国泰民安”. It’s such a simple and common phrase, that there is practically no excuse for saying it wrongly. Our Chinese cousins in Beijing, Taiwan and perhaps even Hongkong, must have found it a humourous, anti-climactic entertainment after all that extravagant world class display.

Our mainstream media is probably not censoring the right things. A few suggestions to avoid such embarrassing moments:

1. Interview only foreign talent from China, Taiwan. Give them a bit of money to pretend that they are Singaporeans.
2. Rehearse the replies and correct any errors before the final take.
3. Give interviewees a script to read from. Reject those who can’t read.
4. Go back to the good old days at Caldecott and dub over the “raw” replies.

Since you’re wayanging, why not just wayang all the way?

Posted: August 10th, 2008 under Uncategorized.
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“Mistakes must be addressed and not swept under the carpet. And officers must take ownership of their mistakes and account for them. But I also assure you that how the officers responsible will be taken to task will always be fair and just.”
Mr Wong Kan Seng

Poor officers. I hope they can enjoy their National Day holiday. Yes, it’s the opening of the Beijing Olympics and we’re also one day away from our country’s 43rd birthday. It’s going to be another big and extravagant party orchestrated by the powers that be. Like at the “bird’s nest” at Beijing, security at NDP is going to be tight. I hope Mas Selamat tries to join in the party and gets captured. Good luck to our officers.

Like most of my patients, economic figures mean nothing to me. I have no cause for celebration if my rental and material costs go up while patients bargain with me because they too are not getting a much-deserved raise. It doesn’t matter if the economists tell us we’re seeing double digit growth. The Gross Happiness Index, is clearly indicated by the number of flags on the block opposite mine. Just click on the thumbnail above.

A writer by the name of Adrian Tan wrote an article to today’s Today, arguing that Singaporeans are not pragmatic where certain issues like gambling and single parenthood are concerned. I’m afraid I can’t agree with him. People object to single parenthood because it’s messy. It messes up teenage parent’s education and the underaged, unprepared grandparents may be peeing in their pants, seeing how one big bundle of costly trouble created another one. Of course they would oppose single parenthood. So will the teenagers, even though some may not realise that opposing having babies outside wedlock may not be as effective in preventing it as contraception. Adrian seems to have forgotten that morals themselves have a pragmatic lining. Throughout history, morals served a very pragmatic function of preventing messy situations and unprepared, 40-year-old grandparents.

Why are people against casinos? I guess many of us have friends and relatives who have a gambling problem. While we gamble in moderation on special occasions, they gamble from morn till dusk. If the people who object to casinos are objecting to gambling on moral grounds, should they not object to “casual, social gambling” as well? You may be surprised many of these folks may queue up to buy 4D and Toto. You may even find some of them sitting across the mahjong or poker table during Chinese New Year. The good thing is, these folks can control their urge to gamble. They are concerned about other folks (who could be their parents, uncles, siblings or even children) who can’t control their gambling habit and keep borrowing money from them. Morality or also pragmatism?

Just yesterday, I told a patient that her new crowns made her look 10 years younger. She laughed out loud and called me a magician. She also commented that dentists have a relatively easy life. She came to that conclusion while noticing that I didn’t take too much time to prepare and fit her crowns. But no, dentistry is never easy. I told her that it’s certainly not as easy as letting a captured terrorist escape or offering a reward 5 months later. Unable to stop laughing, my patient suggested that I entered politics. I told her that 2 things can happen to me depending on which side I choose. One, I can go bankrupt and do time. Two, I can have lots of money but won’t be able to sleep well at night. I’d rather vote with my feet. Perhaps this blog can get bolder once I’m safely out of Singapore’s reach.

Happy unaffiliated National Day, everyone.

Posted: August 8th, 2008 under Uncategorized.
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I don’t eat sweets, I don’t eat pork, I don’t eat cakes and papayas. That’s how “strict” my diet is. People who know me often see me eating laksa and char kway teow. I’m not ashamed to tell them that I don’t believe in diets.

It’ easy to write a book that tells people what not to eat. I personally know a couple of authors who don’t practice what they preach. So don’t be a sucker and believe everything you read in their books. I just won’t tell you who the authors are. If they ever find out that I’ve blown their cover, I can forget about getting a free Peking duck meal from them.

For gimmicky suppliers of lousy dental products who don’t know how to stuff my mouth with Peking duck, I would not hesitate to tell my patients that their products suck. 20 years after graduation, I’m one mean old dentist who has been there, done it and bought a lot of products that suck when they are not supposed to. Back from a one-week “stint” in the army, my fingers are itching for a bit amateur journalism. In the following weeks, fans of my website will be able to see updates on tooth whitening scams propagated by companies that have paid good money to talented maketing people who can tell convincing lies.

Back to the topic on dieting, health and fitness, I didn’t do too badly for my IPPT at the end of my short incamp. Some soldiers panicked when I overtook them. In their 20s and 30s, they figured thet if a 44-year-old “uncle” overtook them in the 2.4km run, they’d better buck up if he didn’t want to fail the test. There are quite a number of people out there who want to know my secret. They know that I’m a very busy “uncle” running a town practice and generating original content for websites. They also know that I love laksa, potato chips, peking duck and vodka. So how do I keep fit when I’m so busy and “sinful” with regards to dietary restraints?

Wait for my book.

Posted: August 3rd, 2008 under Uncategorized.
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