Yours Toothfully by Dr Chan Joon Yee

Terence Lim Eu Seng said:

“Using tissue packs instead of leaving one member behind are merely two different approaches with the same result of the table being unavailable to the waiting patron anyway, who thus has what cause for complaint?”

Terence seems to be unaware that a person telling you that the seat next to his is occupied will not be sitting there just to tell you that the seat next to his is occupied. He is waiting for someone to come back. Once that person is back and they have both eaten, it’s unlikely that they’ll continue to occupy the seats for long. Try telling that to a forgotten tissue pack. It could have been left there long before lunchtime and it can stay there indefinitely. A tissue pack will obediently stay on the seat even if you take 2 hours to get your food. A human companion who needs to go back to work will not wait that long.

I definitely see the difference between a tissue pack and a human being and I’m not ashamed to say that I trust the latter more. People like Terence may have been letting his tissue packs do the talking for him, but frankly, I’m not so sure if I want to communicate with his tisue packs.

Well, one can afford to offend tissue packs, but certainly not a giant like China. South Africa has just denied the Dalai Lama his visa, effectively barring the exiled spiritual leader from a Nobel peace conference. China may not have insisted on that, but fearing the diplomatic consequences, South Africa has chosen to play safe. It’s a little like self-censorship and South Africa is certainly not the first and won’t be the last country to do that.

Remember a time when our monopolised media was busy singing praises for “Asian values” while condemning the “decadent West”? I’m always proud of my own culture and Asian identity, but I have never felt so ashamed of all the arrogant, self-centered and downright ridiculous remarks that the newsmakers in Singapore made. Of course, there was a motive behind all this. Just after the first Gulf War, the US was in recession and ambitious state-run enterprises were trying their luck in China. When criticised by human rights groups, the media quickly retaliated. Any Asian person who criticised China was instantly branded as someone brainwashed by the Western media. The superiority of Asian values, the unethical Western media … it sounded like world war of words. Thankfully, only political leaders were involved. The rest of us went about our daily affairs, making no enemies with our counterparts in the West just because they have criticised China’s human rights record.

But make no mistake about it, Westerners were not always as gracious and respectful of human rights as they are now. European settlers in Tasmania once hunted native Tasmanian aborigines like they would hunt game animals. These inhuman colonists completely exterminated the indigenous people of Tasmania. The last Tasmanian man had his skin made into a leather pouch.
Our media has been hard at work digging out sins of the American and Australian pioneers. But that’s beside the point. I learned about the Tasmanian genocide from a book by Jared Diamond - an American, a Westerner. Australia’s media will not censor such historical facts and many Australians today would feel ashamed of what some of their ancestors did. Are reflections on the atrocities committed in China’s recent history allowed within China and tolerated outside it?
Nevertheless, there is one thing that I totally agree with the apologists. Do not mix business with human rights. Just because there’s no democracy in China does not mean that you can’t visit China, do business with the Chinese people and have non-political discussions with them. And back to the Dalai Lama’s world tours to lecture on Buddhism and world peace, why can’t China practise what it has been preaching and treat business dealings with countries hosting the Dalai Lama as purely business dealings?

Self censorship and preventive action before any official protest is like reacting to a tissue pack placed on a seat. But when the tissue pack is placed by a big bully with a small heart and narrow mind, it may be better to treat it like an ancient imperial edict read by a eunuch.

THE loot that an ex-employee of luxury watch retailer Cortina was supposed to have made off with is worth more than $13 million in the marketplace.
Jerry Ee, 35, who is wanted by police for the Christmas Day heist at Cortina’s Raffles City store, was picky about the watches he allegedly stole.

Ee also allegedly stole cash amounting to $27,137 from a store safe.

With that much money and being a frequent visitor to Thailand, would it be that difficult to change identity and disappear off Interpol’s radar screens forever? So why did Jerry Ee surrender himself at the Singapore Embassy in Bangkok?

Donald probably had to pinch himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming, but his nightmare started one day when he visited one of his nightclubs and found that it wasn’t his anymore. His Thai partner had sold all their jointly owned businesses and disappeared. Donald sought the help of everyone he knew in Thailand. He got plenty of reassurances but no real help. Even with private investigators and mercenary policemen, he found no trace of his ex-partner. An expert conjectured that the cunning fellow had left Thailand using a fake passport.

With the right lobangs, it’s not just easy to sneak out of Thailand without anyone knowing. It’s also easy for criminals to retire there after their last big case. For centuries, Thailand has been a favourite destination for retiring criminals or ex-convicts from Taiwan and Hongkong. With the size of France or the state of Texas in the US, Thailand is big enough for them to hide. Most importantly, I believe, is the ease of settling in as long as you have some money and are very generous with it. Thais judge people from first impressions, the way they dress, the way they talk and how generous they are with their money. Being “jai dee” (good hearted) and being “jai dee” (generous) are exactly the same words. Such “simplicity” gives the soft-spoken, gentlemanly and philanthropic criminal a non-hostile, forgiving retreat which can be turned into a new home whenever necessary.

Back to Jerry Ee. Our “hero” landed at Changi Airport at about 7.45pm today on a scheduled Singapore Airlines flight from Bangkok. Ee was then taken to the Police Cantonment Complex at about 8.45pm where he appeared to shy away from the over 20 reporters and cameramen who waited for him at the entrance. Why?

Jerry escaped to Bangkok with 386 watches. With a loot that size, he was obviously planning to settle down in Thailand like many other criminals before him. Out of the 386 watches he stole, Jerry surrendered with 200. After selling almost 200 watches, he should have enough money to buy himself fake documents and “vanish” like Donald’s ex-partner did. Not too long ago, even poor foreign musicians in Thailand could afford to pay a policeman to stamp their passports for exit and re-entry every month. What could have made Jerry surrender given that it’s not too difficult to get away with it? He couldn’t have just missed Singapore food or found Bangkok’s traffic overwhelming. He couldn’t be so afraid of being drenched during the upcoming Songkran festival. After all, friends and colleagues testified that Thailand is Jerry’s favourite travel destination. What was it that caused Jerry to surrender to the Singapore Embassy, knowing very well that he will be in for a long jail term?

I won’t speculate on the details, but I’m pretty sure that Jerry has chosen imprisonment over a far less desirable consequence, probably death. Without previous criminal records and nowhere near retirement age, I’m also pretty sure that Jerry pull this big one off to fulfil some big dreams he had in Thailand. Whoever or whatever made him commit the crime probably played him out.

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

A gay fellow who was very open about his sexual orientation once asked a friend of mine to come out of the closet. That friend, who isn’t gay, got so angry that he said he would whack up that outspoken fellow. Or did he say that he would “hammer” him? I certainly hope he didn’t.

THE call came in a day after Yio Chu Kang Member of Parliament (MP) Seng Han Thong was set on fire by a resident.

Ms Jessminder Kaur — the customer service officer who was manning the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports’ (MCYS) Reach hotline on Jan 12 — thus became “panicky” when Ng Kim Ngweng allegedly told her that he wanted to “hammer” his MP.

For that, Mr Ng was charged in court for criminal intimidation and threatening to cause hurt to his MP, Ms Denise Phua. We learn something new from the courts every day. These are trying times. We had an MP set on fire. We had our Merlion struck by lightning. The last thing people working for the ministries and grassroot organisations want, is to be hammered. We thus need to be very careful when we say we want to “hammer” people just to let off steam. People who are not in enviable positions can be very sensitive to “threats”. They certainly don’t like any mention of hammering.

Meanwhile, on the streets of Singapore, 502 people were picked up and asked if they find Singaporeans ungracious.

“Ungracious? No lah. I put my tissue paper there, nobody dare to touch. Where got ungracious. If any %#&! dare to touch my tissue paper, I hammer him eh!”

“Where got ungracious? I see them dance so graceful … gracious not the same as graceful ah? Aiya, write already never mind lah.”

If any of these typical alamak people were picked to participate in the survey, I’m not surprised that 90% of 502 Singaporeans don’t find Singaporeans ungracious. You’ll probably get the same results if you ask Indonesians if belachan is smelly, Thais if they find tom yam spicy, nudists if they feel naked without their clothes on …

Like beauty, graciousness is something identified by beholders/onlookers and not the person in the mirror. When 17 out of 20 foreigners find Singaporeans ungracious, then that’s the figure we should take seriously. Not the opinion of 502 belachan lovers who don’t find belachan smelly.

A couple of days ago, news was out that Singapore is now the 10th most expensive city to live in. Very quickly, the media tried to “balance” the view by announcing that Singapore is actually the most attractive country to Asian expatriates. So what? I’m not an expatriate. I live here. I service mortgages, pay rentals. The expatriate gets a housing allowance. He may even get transport allowance in the form of a car. I would need to bid for a COE. With all these perks, who would be too bother if we’re the 10th or even the most expensive country in the world to live?

Mongolia can be a favourite posting - for claustrophobic expats who love to ride horses on vast plains. That does not mean that life is good in Mongolia. Nepal can be a favourite posting for expats who love to climb mountains. That does not mean that the Nepalese don’t need to haul heavy loads up the mountains.

Being a favourite to Asian expat means that companies overseas have no problems getting people from China, India and the region to come work here for a while. On top of their salaries, they get housing allowance, transport alowance. Like my friends sent to work in China by their companies, the bulk of their expenditures are paid for by the company. Many of them are not very sure how much the apartment they are staying in costs. Without feeling the strain of pricey housing, high shop rentals and a long list of licences and permits that need to be paid for before one can operate any business, how do these Asian expats understand or alleviate our problems associated with being the 10th most expensive city in the world? We may not be happy just because they are happy.

If expats who used to be eager to come here discover that Singapore isn’t what they expect, they just need to live out their posting and move on to the next country. We on the other hand, are still stuck in the 10th most expensive city in the world.