You can’t vote if you’re below 21. You can’t buy or consume alcohol if you’re under 18. You can’t even buy cigarettes at 7-11 if you are under 18. You can’t watch a certain category of movies if you are below 18 or 21. A friend of mine was once asked to show his IC when buying a ticket to watch an R(A) movie. He was in his 30s then. Boy, was he flattered.
But we all know that age is no guarantee for maturity. Just because someone has passed a certain age does not mean that he/she can handle sensitive material or issues. All the while, we have been talking about protecting children from inappropriate content. What about the adults? What happens when adults clash and behave like kids on Facebook?
Many people thought that the internet would never be the phenomenon it once was after the dotcom bubble burst during the turn of the century. In the heady days leading to the 21st century, domain names were changing hands for 6 figures. Drugs.com, registered for US$70 went for more than US$800K. Any company that declared it was going into e-commerce was also going for IPO.
In the aftermath of all the hype and broken promises, people were more cynical and critical about the latest talk in town. It was my friend Chee Wah who first introduced me to Facebook. I registered myself and never looked back. It became a fun and exciting way to connect with friends, share news, music, pictures and the latest electronic gadgets. Internet forums require the user to search for the latest threads and replies are only seen when other subscribers scroll down to the latest reply. Facebook automatically provides newsfeeds which inform you of which piece of news, photo album or video your friends just posted.
I must say that I took to Facebook like a fish to water, quickly reconnecting with army friends, friends from the Singapore’s Adventurers’ Club as well as distant relatives. Networking is made so easy. Even politicians and journalists can’t do without Facebook nowadays. Our returning officer in the general elections Mr Yam Ah Mee is instantly richer by 5000 friends. US President Obama owes his election victory to Facebook. Our last GE saw social media playing a huge role in the changing the government’s authoritarian style. Advertising in Facebook is not free, but there are numerous free ways to promote yourself and your services/products – as long as you have interesting content. I’m one of those who have benefited tremendously from Facebook networking.
But as much as it can help, Facebook can also hurt. In the internet forums, debates, arguments and even quarrels often erupt due to differences in opinion. Facebook is no different, but there is a safety switch. You can easily block trouble-making people from your wall. The whole purpose of blocking is to maintain decorum. Like I mentioned earlier, age is no guarantee of maturity. People who are supposed to be mature can act very childishly. People who are supposed to be embrace peace may get violent and vindictive, often embarrassing the people who are related to them.
Friendships and other relationships on Facebook are open by default. Relationships between individuals of any sex or sexual orientation can be casual or intimate. You can keep it a secret, but by default, they are open. Hence, the Chinese saying of 光明正大 applies. Nothing to hide. Friends can indicate that they like another friend’s photo. Friends can comment on another friend’s photo. People can take pictures at a function and share it with friends who didn’t want to go so they might want to go the next time. It’s such a powerful tool. Why didn’t I have it earlier?
Having said that, there are many spies and others who have motives other than networking on their minds. With motive or just by impulse, they can sabotage you both online and in real life. I have learned my lesson: weed out the fake “friends”. Tweak the privacy settings. The trouble is, some people take a very negative view of totally innocent gestures and comments. It’s OK if they don’t manage their Facebook the same way, but they get offended and go to the extent of preventing others from doing their playful but totally innocent networking. They see enticement as challenge. Friendly interactions provoke extreme jealousy. They hate some people but instead of ignoring them, they keep sneaking up on them to look for comments that will get them angry. Nobody is a saint. Yes, some are even more “unsaintly” than others. So for Buddha’s sake, let sleeping dogs lie.
This is the sort of personality that the Facebook bouncer should stop at the gate. Age is not the issue. Personality and maturity are.
