Yours Toothfully by Dr Chan Joon Yee

Screw Inner Beauty - lessons from the fatosphere by Kate Harding and Marianne Kirby.

I thought this book would be a wicked revelation of how superficial modern soceities are. I thought it would show us what really fills the minds of people who emphasise on inner beauty over outer beauty. I expected a funny, honest, candid and sarcastic style. Well, this book turned out to be totally beyond my expectations.

Well, it did start off with some revelation of hypocrisy by magazines that tell you to love yourself the way you are on one page and then carry tons of advertisements telling you how to change your looks for the better. Then, the authors revealed that they are fat and not ashamed of admitting it. That’s fine with me. It’s their own bodies. But the insights and advice that follow show how little they understand nutrition and physiology. It’s true that most people who embark on weight loss programs succeed at first but regain all the weight they lost, but that does not mean that the science behind dieting and nutrition is all wrong. Yes, experts have been paid to endorse programs and products. Some have even written books aimed more at selling than informing, but the science still holds. People become obesed because they take in too much and burn off too little.

Healthy At Every Size (HAES) is an interesting concept. I might even agree with it. No matter how some people exercise, they just can’t get rid of their thick thighs or buttocks. In fact, the majority of people who attend slimming programs aren’t even overweight. These are genuine victims of “media standards”. They should go for counselling instead of extreme weight loss programs if they are healthy in spite of an isolated chunk of stubborn fat that just wouldn’t go away. Perhaps they should even read the more sensible parts of this book.

However, there are many people out there who are indeed overweight and at risk of serious chronic illnesses. It’s factually incorrect for the authors to say that the majority of people will not be able to maintain their weight within healthy limits even if they exercise sufficiently and eat good food. The authors further postulated (wrongly) that there is no such thing as good food and bad food - just eat intuitively. That would be a recipe for disaster.

They seem to have forgotten that very few of our ancestors were fat because there weren’t much junk food, travelators and escalators back then. Malnutrition was a bigger (no pun intended) problem than obesity. We live in very different times and going intuitively with food loaded with trans fats and sodium without any discipline or knowledge to discern is exactly the source of weight problems (with accompanying health issues) in the developed world.

The part about choosing doctors who don’t tell you are obesed and at risk of certain illnesses is preposterous. How about avoiding the doctor who tells you you’ve got a tumour that needs to be investigated? Aren’t they supposed to be confident and in full acceptance of their bodies? Why bother to avoid doctors who comment on their weight? While I admire the authors’ positive outlook in life, I can’t help but conclude that they are people who are happy because they are blissfully ignorant or in denial.

I can’t comment on their advice on social life. I’ve never been fat and if one of them is happily married and other dating successfully, I guess, it’s OK to take some advice from them. Finally, take a look at Kate Harding’s picture below. Does she look that fat to you? Think twice before buying her book.

What would expect from a book like this? A lot whining and grumbling? Bitterness? Anti-establishment views that one often hears from the “uncles” behind the wheel?

Well, there’s certainly quite a few subtle stabs at the people “high up on the food chain” (Cai’s own words), but this ex-prof is certainly not bitter about his predicament. Imagine him driving an “upgrading” construction worker from his hometown in China who said 人往高处爬，水往低处流 to him. The laughable irony of those words! You might expect the ex-prof to shed a tear or two, but no.

Dr Cai says: “What it (losing his job as prof) has done to me, however, is only to push me to a “new high”, a new boundary where I don’t have to survive by playing their games … I am happier now as a taxi driver than in my last two years as a professor, when I often had to feel sorry for myself for having to work in that environment.”

I’m impressed. This humiliating blow has ironically helped Dr Cai find his pride and his 骨气.

Of course, like other taxi drivers, Dr Cai encountered many rude, unreasonable passengers, shallow, presumptuous people, snobbish drivers, a few good samaritans, exotic ladyboys, stupidly funny backseat conversations and insider’s info on how taxi companies save costs and ensure profitability at the expense of their drivers. But Dr Cai also has his “poetic moments” - a feature which will distinguish his work from that of a less sophisticated taxi driver.

As expected from his admission to being happier as a taxi driver, the pages in his diary is full of politically incorrect but candid and brutally honest observations like: “I doubt any security guard in Singapore would bother to ask questions before opening the gate for a White stranger”.

And he has this to say about our “peasants”: “Without their strength and endurance, this nation, no matter how many gold or silver medals it wins in the Olympics, and no matter how many hundreds of billions of dollars it has in its reserves, will eeventually collapse.”

A slap in the face? If only people will wake up to some uncomfortable and inconvenient realities.

Most self help books are useless and some are more useless than others, so when I read a self help book, I’m not looking for any real help. Instead, I look for honest opinions and insights on the topic being dealt with. This book does contain many good and honest insights into what makes a business as successful as the author’s.

Dominating your niche means going all the way to stand on top of your competitors. Sounds fierce? Well, the author begins with an intro for newbies on what entrepreneurship is all about. You must:
1. Have a reason to go into business
2. Think big and aim high
3. Be obsessive about it
4. Focus on profits
5. Burn bridges and don’t think about turning back

It’s only in Chapter 3 that the author starts talking about niche markets. How does one find a profitable one and avoid making the mistake that Crazy Horse in Singapore made? The answer lies in market research. The author went into pest management after finding out that most hospitality establishments in Singapore changed their pest control companies like the way people change their underwear. That’s because the service provided by most of these companies fall way below standards expected of them.

The author chose this niche because there was a desperate demand for better service and corporate clients were willing to pay a premium for it. The author gives us examples like Charles & Keith and Song of India restaurant - which I think are not totally appropriate as far as niche domination and providing something desperately needed are concerned.

Printed in large font at the beginning of Chapter 4, is the statement:

The bigger and more serious the problem, the more valuable your solution.

That’s very easy for us to agree with. Problems are everywhere. We identify those problems and solve them. We differentiate ourselves by doing things differently and better, charging more for it. To be a leader, one must also charge leading fees and provide top notch service. Not only that, one must dress and act like the industry leader, also making sure that employees are well-groomed and company vehicles well-polished.

The next few chapters further support the author’s belief in going all out to stand on top of all competitors. Networking is important. It’s not just who you know but who knows you. Get testimonials. Get awards. Overcome customer resistance with guarantees. Be a good leader to your staff. Scout for and retain talented people. Empower them. Implement new technology and ride on the next wave.

Even long before the book finishes, the astute reader should have realised that there are not too many secrets in this book. It may make him wonder why he’s spent $32.55 (before discount) on it. One of the reasons for the author’s success in his niche must have something to do with his less well-educated competitors. Better able to upgrade himself and acquire new skills and technology ahead of his competitors, it’s less difficult for him to outwit, outsell and outperform his competition.

Well, I guess even this “secret” is an open one. We are seeing more and more graduates engaged in businesses traditionally handled by the academically challenged. I know a temple medium who speaks fluent English. With so many intelligent competitors who have as much access to cutting edge technology and an equal ability to learn new things from developed countries, it won’t be long before it becomes impossible for to rise above a level playing field unless someone has an unfair advantage (e.g. rental-free father’s shop) to begin with.

This book has not been a waste of time for me. I don’t expect too much from self help books these days, but the author’s long road to success is an inspiring one. I admire what the author has done even though very few of those who have read the book will be able to achieve the same.

The mile high club (or MHC) is a slang term applied collectively to individuals who have engaged in sexual intercourse while on board an aircraft in flight.

The Mile Hi Club is a book (ISBN 978-981-08-2454-9) by former air stewardess Janet Chew. The blurb says that it’s an insight to the glamorous and adult world of a real stewardess - a comprehensive collection of humorous anecdotes, scandals and love stories 35,000 feet in the air.

The book starts at the beginning. Lured by the prospect of lunch in Tokyo, dinner in Paris, our protagonist decides to drop out of NUS (a loss to the Biz Ad guys) and try her luck with a world class airline. She gets the job, her old man objects at first, finally relented, giving her one year before she must return to her books.

The story takes off from there and credit must be given to the author for going into such detail with high altitude sex, shopping and meal service. 5 years pass, her father forgets her promise, she renews her contract and before she knows it, she’s been with the airline for 13 years.

“4 months!” of training. Why the exclamation mark? And the “limiting dress code” - tee-jeans and strappy dresses were not allowed. Curiously, Janet complains about the training and sounds like a pampered little girl who didn’t know the meaning of training. While training, she meets a soon to be promoted steward Guo Ren and learns to smoke. On weekends, she would go clubbing. In between classes, she would chill out on the veranda with fellow trainees. No wonder she has trouble remembering the things taught in class. Imagine what would happen if Janet has to pass exams in NUS.

Janet is ready to fly and she gives us a juicy insider’s view of the cabin. Newbies being bullied, backstabbing by colleagues, gouchy leaders, cocky pilots, unfair policies, skivving, MC queens, thieves, smugglers etc. Nothing unique here, but I managed to learn a few things about scheduling.

Next on the target board are passengers. The anecdotes in these chapters strike a familiar chord with me as many of the unreasonable passengers remind me of alamak patients. She seems to dislike Singaporeans - for good reason as they are often the most demanding and most likely to complain. Janet’s also tells us about Indian passengers who don’t want any drinks until they see someone else gets his. Then, Indian passenger B will ask for it. After B gets his drink, C will ask for it … I’ve seen this interesting chain reaction with my own eyes on a flight to Dhaka.

Janet talks a lot about washing toilets and how she once helped a disabled passenger who has dirtied himself in the toilet to clean up and get some new pants. There are MC queens who try to escape unpopular flights, but there are also those who refuse to report sick even when they are sick. Even with MCs lasting only 2 days, many crew members are working long before they have recovered from flu or other ailments. Air crew sometimes have to resuscitate unconscious patients, only to get stomach contents thrown all over them. On a full flight, dead bodies have to be stored in the crew’s bunk. In these chapters and throughout the book, Janet maintains a certain level of pride and self-respect. She tries very hard to portray the air stewardess as a well-trained professional who deserves some respect from passengers.

Sex on the plane? Janet has no problems with passengers engaging in oral sex under the blanket. However, when a passenger exits from the toilet followed by a stewardess, Janet makes sure that she never flies again. That’s how principled and professional she portrays herself to be.

Janet also tells us things that take place in the hotels where they stayed. There are quite a lot of juicy bits, but my favourite are the ghost stories. The man whose wife’s ghost walks to the galley to order a drink for him. She was on the flight, but in a wooden box in the cargo compartment! That’s a good one. Of course, more unexplained encounters occur in hotel rooms. Janet could have made the stories a bit more interesting with a few subplots and a little creative additions. Janet is either trying to be factual or just isn’t very good at spinning fictional yarns.

Scandals occur in every field and sector. I was expecting bizarre and convoluted plots from such happening people. Suffice to say that the juicy reports on adulterers and two-timers are too predictable and fail to impress. I’ve heard better tales from my pilot friends. Janet breaks up with senior steward Guo Ren and falls in love with a handsome, smooth-talking guy with a stable of fast cars she met in the pub. This doesn’t seem consistent with the street wise, principled and professional woman Janet tries to portray herself throughout the book. He turns out to be a two-timer. Are we surprised? Not when affairs with married karang guni men and abandoning babies in Phuket have made it to the headlines before.

There’s a happy ending to it. Janet meets the man of her dreams on board a flight. He slips her his card, she emails to him, they date, they get married and she quits flying after 13 years. The final chapter is a Q&A thingie with a lot of lame questions from clueless little boys/girls.

It’s overall quite a good read. Janet’s style is rather hip, with lots of Chinese and Singlish expressions. No prizes for guessing which airline she flew with. Janet succeeds very well in her attempt to entertain. It’s not difficult to read the book from cover to cover on a flight from Singapore to Hongkong. As far as changing our perceptions about air crew goes, I’m afraid Janet has failed. We all acknowledge that not every air stewardess is a materialistic SPG but the way she writes her memoirs tell us that there’s certainly a higher tendency for developing such traits and many other bad habits in this line.