Keep The Cows & Calves On Their Toes
Tell you what. When I grow old, senile and start pulling out the wrong teeth for my patients, I’m going to be a farmer. Yep. And proud Farmer Chan is going to keep a great big herd of cows on my dairy farm. Why farmer? Why cows? Because cows are happy as long as you feed them grass. They won’t be like some people who want their dentures to function like real teeth. Besides, you can milk the cows every day. They are not like patients who see you once in 10 years when the pain becomes unbearable. Set up a diary farm when I retire and I’m going to be … well … happy as a cow.
But rumour has it that cows become less and less obedient, more and more demanding as they get familiar with their surroundings. At first, my cows are going to be quite contented as long as they have enough grass to eat. Then, as they get old and complacent, they are going to get less productive and more demanding. Their calves are going to be pampered and not hungry. They are going to protest if I … well … squeeze them too hard. So what do I do? Unlike unhappy patients, cows can’t write in to complain about being squeezed too hard. So what is a poor farmer like me, deserving of a million dollar annual salary going to do?
Two things. First, I’m going to import some foreign cows. I know the native cows are going to be unhappy, but I’ve got no choice. Such imports can only be good for my economy … oops … I mean the economy. Never mind if the grazing ground per unit cow has gotten smaller. The imported cows are very hungry and would not mind a little crowding. If the imported cows are treated the same as the native cows, the former are not going to be too bothered about being squeezed. That will wake up the sleeping native cows. Every cow is going to work hard, get milked and Farmer Me am going to laugh my way to the bank.
And perhaps I should also adopt a couple of foreign children just in case my kids take me for granted. They are lazy and always asking for toys and other luxuries. if I can rear kids from Third World countries and impose the same taxes and parental support obligations on them, they may give me more bang for my buck - if that is all that is important to me.
Maybe if I do that, my kids will go learn some ballet. That will keep them on their toes.
