K is a 19-year-old Malaysian Chinese girl helping out at a stall at Hougang, selling Chinese New Year goodies. It’s her family business and she’s manning the stall with her father’s employee. Earlier on, she had expressed reluctance to help out, but after a lot of persuasion, she relented.
“So they pay you well?” I asked her.
“Aiya, family business mah, where got pay well or not pay well one.”
Nothing very profound in that statement, but it struck a familiar yet terribly unfamilar chord in my heart. I was momentarily at a loss for words. But as I walked through all the redness and all the familiar tunes and chimes filled the air around me, I received a powerful reminder that I am Chinese.
Family business. It runs in my family. From my cousins in Malaysia to those in Indonesia, we run all sorts of small businesses from resorts in Bali, marine engineering company, dental clinic in Singapore to hairdressing salons, coffeeshops and spas in Malaysia. Though we differ in size, the nature of the business and turnover, we share one thing in common. We all started out from scratch and we’ve all been through some very difficult times. Some of you may find my topic a little sombre so close to Chinese New Year, but I believe that the recollection of difficult times is what makes celebration meangful.
If you ask my cousins how they survived the difficult times, my cousins will invariably give the answer: “family support”. When the hard times hit, family members tightened their belts. Wives pawned their jewellery, working for free so that the workers and suppliers could be paid. Being with this family and having been brought up this way for so long, I admit that I used to take these Chinese family values for granted, assuming that they were only logical and everyone, regardless of race or seemingly similar culture, should accept them. I was wrong. Not everyone sees things this way. Some folks will not be willing to sacrifice for the family’s cause. Not getting their money before the workers means that they are less loved than the workers. Getting less money is totally unacceptable. It’s the boss’ problem, not theirs. They don’t want to be “affected” unless it’s in a positive way.
When I started my first clinic at Hougang back in 1991, I was deep in debt. For the first few months, I actually earned less than my assistant. Had I not been able to endure the “humiliation”, I would have given up. 能曲能伸 has always been something I strongly subscribe to. That wasn’t too problematic as I was single.
When I started my current practice at Orchard, it wasn’t exactly like back to square one. I wouldn’t have dared to take that risk with a family in tow. I already had a pool of patients and I was a much more experienced practitioner. Still, it wasn’t easy making ends meet as the overheads were much higher and competition was keen. Mistakes were made but lessons were learned. It’s the same with everyone. It’s just that we don’t see other people’s problems. It’s plain silly to look at other people’s success and think that they didn’t make mistakes or go through any difficult periods.
For me, there were some “additional burdens”. Those certainly didn’t help me pay the bills. I’m glad to say that I’ve survived, but it has been a harrowing and downright traumatic experience (though most of the trauma was experienced outside clinical practice). I learned my lesson not to take my own Chinese/family values for granted and hope that others would also subscribe to them. A family sails on the same ship. Those who think it may be sinking are free to bail out, but it would be rather shameless of them to return and enjoy the breeze when the storm is over. In retrospect, I still can’t decide whether I would have done the same and upgraded my practice if I could go back in time.
As Chinese New Year approaches, I find that I have gained a stronger awareness of what being Chinese means. Celebrating Chinese New Year is not just about putting up cute little decorations, calling lion dancers, wearing red dresses and feasting on bak gua and raw fish. I think it should also involve a celebration of the values that make us the most successful immigrants in Southeast Asia.
Finally, a very happy Chinese New Year to all my blog followers. I apologise for not being able to reply your emails. I’ve been too busy deleting spam. May we all have a prosperous year ahead.
