Yours Toothfully (ad space for sale)

Once upon a time, a man by the name of Lee Mian Koon decided to go for a more positive experience on the train by avoiding peak hours. It has been announced that commuters who take the train during the shoulder-peak periods on weekdays – between 6.30am and 7.30am as well as between 8.30am and 9.30am – will get carrots as rewards.

Now, besides hating to squeeze on the train, Mr Lee is also very fond of carrots. So he decided to take the train between 6.30am and 7.30am. It takes Mr Lee only 30 minutes to arrive at his workplace and the office opens at 9.00am. So he slept an hour less, work up early and after hopping on the train, reached his office at 8.00am.

The doors were still shut. He decided to have breakfast at a nearby coffeeshop. Mr Lee was delighted. He seldom had the chance to sit down and enjoy his breakfast without any sense of urgency. But while leisurely and happily enjoying his breakfast, he dozed off and dipped his nose in a saucer of soft-boiled egg. By the end of the week, Mr Lee Mian Koon was seeing rings around his eyes and making costly mistakes at work.

So he decided to go for the next shoulder period between 8.30am and 9.30am. He slept a little longer, started his train journey at 8.30am and arrived at work just in time at 9.00am. But the next day, his maid forgot to iron his pants. When he finally got his pants ironed and got on the train, it was already 8.40am.

At 9.10am when he rushed through the entrance to his office, his boss, Mr Wai Yew Lek, was hovering over his workstation asking “Why you late?”. Mr Lee Mian Koon felt it inappropriate to tell Mr Wai that his maid had forgotten to iron his pants.

A couple of days went by without incident, another couple of days went by with Mr Lee arriving at work with crumpled pants and sweaty shirt. What’s more, his pulse was always racing as the train pulled into his destination station. He only had minutes to spare. Sometimes, he had to run avoid being late.

Nothing disastrous until one day, as Mr Lee was about to get to the train station, he stepped on something mushy. It turned out to be dog poo. He rushed to the toilet to wash his shoe and spent 10 minutes washing off all the dog poo. He arrived at his office at 9.10am and was again greeted by a frowning Mr Wai Yew Lek.

A final warning. Mr Lee decided that the carrots were not worth all the hassle. He went to work during peak hours as usual. The squeeze was uncomfortable, but he really didn’t have much of a choice. The only convenient way for him to change his travel pattern is for the office to change its operating hours. Well, tell that to Mr Wai Yew Lek. He’ll probably show you his middle finger.

I remember how my secondary school avoided congestion at the canteen. By having a first recess and a second recess. The timings were staggered. The first recess ended before the second recess began and the lessons were all planned to accommodate these timings. Even though some classes which were supposed to take the first recess occasionally took the second because lessons went into “overtime”, there were no confusion and congestion. Mine was just a neighbourhood school and we certainly couldn’t afford to hire professors to conduct a study on how to encourage people to change their travel patterns.

Neither could we afford to give away carrots. And when floods occurred, we certainly couldn’t afford to employ a panel of professors just to tell us that we are paying a price for rapid urbanisation.

Let’s not underestimate the intelligence of public transport users. People who can avoid the peak hours already have. I for one, would always leave home early to avoid the peak hour crowds. We are not stupid. People who can plan their schedules and get out early without dipping their noses in egg would have already done so. Carrots won’t make it any easier for those who just can’t make it.

Unlike Bangalore, we don’t have “rubber time” here. Getting up early means that sleep-deprived Singaporeans are going to be even more sleep-deprived. Getting up later means that we’ll have less allowance for little incidents like spilling coffee and stepping on dog poo.

Some light-hearted stuff at Dewdrop Notes and Winter Worms.