Yours Toothfully by Dr Chan Joon Yee

It’s the Hungry Ghost Festival now and some people seem to have forgotten that living people get hungry too. Anaesthetist Dr Kelvin Ngiam told me that many surgeries have been cancelled, but over at my end, I’m seeing a record number of wisdom tooth surgeries - the kind of treatment that sees the largest number of no shows.

Last week, someone called up on the phone, wishing to see us urgently at 1.00pm that day. From experience, lunchtime appointments are terribly unreliable. People are often very happy that they can book an appointment at lunchtime, but they don’t value the opportunity. From experience, most of these folks would take their time to enjoy their lunch and before they know it, it’s time to go back to the office and the poor folks who expect them to turn up would be sitting through lunch on empty stomachs.

Sometimes, these folks turn up way past lunchtime and ask for MCs or time chits. If they are not so busy that they can only come at lunchtime, why bother to book their appointments during lunchtime and deprive others of their lunch? After years of research on hundreds of subjects, I’ve come to the conclusion that some folks just love to indulge in the pleasure of being able to book a appointment at an unusual time. I figure that any clinic that offers midnight appointments will be full of appointments and no shows. Unlike airlines where you pay to book a seat, booking for dental appointments is free. The more convenient it is to book an appointment, the higher the chances of no shows. Computer geeks who try to sell me software that allows people to book my time as they would book air tickets have no idea how people behave.

In spite of all the bad experience, I waited for that patient as she sounded very genuine. We tried to call to remind her when she didn’t show up after 1.00pm. Well, she didn’t bother to answer her phone. Many of these folks actually deliberately turn off their phones to avoid being reminded and my growling stomach realised too late that this genuine sounding patient was no exception to the rule.

Fortunately, if you can say that being one hour late is better than never, the patient showed up at 2.00pm and I was starving. To restore mental equilibrium in these cases, I have to charge more. Yet, I find it strange that empathy seldom ends up at the receiving end of such abuse. Whenever I relate such incidents to people who are never at the receiving end, they seem to be surprised that we are annoyed with these people.

“Maybe they have something urgent to attend to. Have some compassion.”

yao mo gao chor ah? Compassion for the inconsiderate folks who cause others to suffer? Every one of those who failed to show up and ensured that they were not contactable by switching off their phones or not answering had something urgent to attend to? I’m totally compassionate towards anyone who has something urgent to attend to. Even if he says that he suddenly remembers it’s his grandmother’s birthday. But empathy or compassion comes only after I have confirmed the extenuating circumstances.

Imagining extenuating circumstances against all the odds is called foolhardy and I wonder if the the folks who appear to forgive everyone who is patently inconsiderate by imagining extenuating circumstances on their behalf really practice foolhardiness in their daily lives. Yeah, maybe this and maybe that.

Life is short. Spare me all the maybes.

It’s National Day again. Flights are full as busy, overworked Singaporeans pack up to go on a much needed vacation. You may say they’re unpatriotic, but what the heck. When was the last time you hung out your flag on National Day? I came closest to doing that in a dream.

In that dream, the CEO of Golden Tap Charity (by the name of DD Durian) was found to have made use of charity funds to finance a lavish lifestyle. Everyone was furious. A noblewoman who spoke in his defence was quickly snubbed and forced to apologise. Eventually, they were all sentenced to lengthy jail terms. The money they siphoned from the people were returned to them.

It was in that dream and while it lasted that I proudly displayed our national flag at my balcony. Then, I woke up and realised that the DD Durian is none the worse for wear after the punishment he got. I also realised that had DD Durian not been such an overconfident megalomaniac that he started picking fights with giants like Superhold Press, he could well have remained in his position of power. Those of us who learn about his excesses from the grapevine can only gripe and pity the thousands of kind-hearted, ignorant donors. We would have been sued silly and forced to retract our accusations had it not been Superhold Press (not commoners like us) that had complained and escalated the conflict.

My friend CW was a very happy man. In the early to mid 1990s, He worked on a research vessel exploring for oil off the coast of Vietnam. He was the top man in charge of all the computers onboard. Glitches were rare and the technicians took care of routine maintenance. He was only called to troubleshoot when there was a major problem. So when he was free, he could sleep the whole day. Every time he set sail, he would stay on the ship for a whole month. The ship docked at Songkhla in Thailand and he would enjoy 2 months’ paid shore leave before boarding the ship again. Even though the company provided CW with free air tickets to return to Singapore, CW was in love with Thailand. He always started his shore leave with a flight to Chiangmai, his second home where he had a special arrangement with a guesthouse to keep a room for him.

As far as CW was concerned, he had the best job in the world.

Single and with everything paid for while at work, CW had plenty of money to spare. He spent all his time in Chiangmai attending Thai classes, meditation courses and socialising. Every weekend, he would hold a big party at the lobby of the guesthouse. Rich seafood crackled over charcoal fires, filling the dank air in that soi with a pleasant aroma. Beer and whisky flowed like the waters of the Mae Ping. Thirsty Thais just guzzled it all up.

A Thai friend once remarked that CW probably knew everyone in Chiangmai. It did seem so, judging from the crowd at his parties. Everyone was a friend, a very good friend indeed. Rain or shine, whenever there was a party, they would be there. Let’s apply the “loyalty test” on them.

“Are you proud of CW’s economic achievements?”

Yes. (100%)

“Does CW lend you money when you need it?”

Yes. (100%)

CW’s friends in Chiangmai were 100% behind him. He had their absolute loyalty according to our very own survey to test citizen loyalty. But how reliable is such a test? We don’t know the answer for Singapore yet, but for CW, that is already known.

It all happened in 1997 when the financial crisis hit the region. CW’s company was badly hit. They withdrew all research funds and CW was retrenched. No more weekend parties and guess what. No more friends and visitors. When borrowers got turned away, they wouldn’t even have a simple dinner of fried egg on rice with him.

We all love parties and parties are fine and fun as long as we don’t get too intoxicated and think it shows loyalty. So do we have to wait for a war before we can see Singaporeans displaying their loyalty? No need for that. Before one can show loyalty to one’s country, one has to first show loyalty to oneself. If a small threat can make one cower in submission, then this person is unlikely to be very loyal to his country.

In Singapore’s highly regulated environment, people who are in business and have a family to support would normally just apologise to the powers that be if they have unintentionally offended them. Apologise, whithdraw accusations, retract statements … that’s all it usually takes for the budding dissident to do to stay out of trouble and move on. It’s when these dissidents insist on standing their ground that they end up in jail.

What if these were merely telling the truth? What if they were merely expressing a strong opinion without any intention to offend? Would they stand their ground or even go to jail for their beliefs? In a similar vein, would they stand up to a enemy which not only threatens their livelihood, but their precious little lives? Would they loyally fight till their last breath? It’s all too obvious what kind of behaviour is being promoted in this land. Perhaps that’s why we are are so desperate for tests and surveys that can bring out other features that may indicate loyalty.

Generalisation (generalization), is usually regarded with complete negativity - especially by well-educated, sophisticated and politically correct individuals. To them, the person who generalises jumps to conclusions based on limited experience. He is also simplistic and immature. When these generalisations apply to certain cultures or peoples, he may even be branded a racist or sexist.

The Chinese have a saying that discourages generalisation too. It translates as knocking everyone overboard with the same bamboo pole.

The dictionary says that to generalise is:

1. to form (general principles or conclusions) from (detailed facts, experience, etc.); infer
2. to think or speak in generalities, esp in a prejudiced way

I suspect that even the politically correct people who condemn others for generalising are themselves guilty of it at one time or another. Is it pure coincidence that all departmental stores have their cosmetics department right at the front entrance? Or is there some unsavoury sexist generalisation involved?

“Hello sir. Congratulations, sir. You’ve just won a free ticket to the Maldives and we would like to invite you to collect your ticket at our office….”

Wow, you’ve just won a prize. But wait a minute. There’s no such thing as a free lunch (a very popular generalisation). Would you need to attend a 30-minute presentation before they give you the ticket? No harm listening, but what if they use hardsell tactics to pressure you to take up some timeshare scheme? It’s an old scam and calling it an old scam is actually another act of generalisation. You haven’t met the smooth-talking, sincere-sounding guy at the other end. You are actually jumping to conclusions if you hang up the phone or tell him to keep the ticket for himself. Would you fear being condemned for generalisation and attend the presentation? Would you give every free lunch offer a fair hearing before deciding that it isn’t a free lunch?

Not being as sophisticated and politicaly correct as some people, I’m not so averse to generalising. Life is unpredictable. But there are certain patterns of behaviour which we observe as we gain more experience. Every time we apply our instincts and experience to a new situation, we are generalizing. And the success that so many experienced people in every field of art, science and business enjoy only goes to show that the trouble with generalisations, is that they are generally true.

Another reason for generalisation has to do with age. At an age when people lament: “If only I knew…”, you know that time is not on their side. I doubt I would have another 46 years to make the same mistakes I made in the last 46 years. At this age, I find it easier and easier to understand why so many older fogies are so quick to judge. Listen to the more successful ones and you’ll find them not just very confident but also very prejudiced. I had the pleasure of meeting quite a few of them in Thailand during my younger days. At that time, my politically correct mind went diametrically against their swift, prejudiced judgement and conclusions. Fortunately for me, it didn’t take me too long to admit defeat and acknowledge their distasteful, prejudiced wisdom.

It’s a bit harsh to say that a leopard never changes its spots (another popular generalisation). It’s even harsher not to give a person a second chance, but then again, life is short. What do you lose by not giving a person with a “history” (of betrayal, dishonesty etc) a chance when the world is full of people without that “history”? Does it really benefit you to be so forgiving? Does it really benefit you to be so politically correct and non-judgemental? I may want to experiment if I have many more years to squander. Not when life is so short. Time to move on and trust my instincts and experience in dealing with new, unfamiliar things.

“I’m sorry, Mr Ang Luck Kee, but no amount of dentistry will restore your masticatory function. Be prepared to eat porridge and tofu for the rest of your life.”

How would Mr Ang Luck Kee feel? Fortunately, I’ve never needed to tell anyone that. Most of the time, patients can be helped as long as there are no serious health or financial issues. Even if the patient is somehow really beyond help, I would try my best to sound optimistic and reassuring. Telling the patient that he/she must accept his/her misfortune is demoralising. Hope keeps us going.

Flooding is not something new to Orchard Road. It happens every year. It’s just that such incidents never made the news because they were not serious enough to make shopkeepers cry. Finally, things got serious last month. Goods were destroyed. Shops were damaged. Shopkeepers cried. Singapore was shocked.

Orchard Road is the last place in Singapore that should be flooded. In a land of glitzy malls, 2 integrated resorts and extravagant, state of the art NDP displays, submerged cars in a prime shopping district is an utter embarrassment. Still, we were told that we had to accept it. Just once. Never mind.

When flooding hit the basement of Lucky Plaza again last Saturday, I didn’t hear anyone cursing or swearing. Many of the victims must have thought that aggressive action would soon be taken. It may not be worthwhile to improve the drainage system if flooding at Orchard Road happens only when the rainfall is extraordinary. But what if the extraordinary happens several times over these couple of months?

The last word is out. Everyone’s heart sank. We were told that no amount of engineering will stop some places in Singapore (that includes Orchard Road) from flooding and when there’s an extraordinary amount of rain, we’ve got to be prepared.

Prepared for what? Prepared with what? Prepared for a cheap sale of soaked goods? Prepared to cry? Prepared to flee from creditors? Prepared with sandbags issued by the army? Prepared to build our own dykes? Prepared to dig our own drains? We can’t even plant a tree without permission from the relevant authorities. If the relevant authorities are not doing anything about the flooding problem even when Orchard Road (not Pulau Ubin) is affected, what does it mean for the average, powerless Singaporean?