Yours Toothfully by Dr Chan Joon Yee

The strangest patients I’ve met are those think that I should give them a discount for insulting me. Do people not realise that if they want a discount, they should at least say something nice to the one who is in the position to give them a discount? Flattery may not work all the time, but being nice is the necessary first step to getting a discount.

My friend Uncle George recently posted me a YouTube video. I realised that there are good places where one can get very cheap dental treatment. Perhaps that’s where I should refer some of my troublesome patients.

Many companies that provide services have taglines. Some are catchy pieces of advice like:

“Don’t leave home without it”

“Just do it”.

Some are boasts like

“The ultimate driving machine”
“The happiest place on earth”
“The world’s favourite airline”

Others are promises, pledges or guarantees if you will.

“Melts in your mouth, not in your hands”

“When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight”

The problem with such promises is that it’s not always easy to live up to them. For the cosmetic dentist who dares to call himself a cosmetic dentist, patients can expect miracles. Take the example of lady who walked into my clinic recently. She had a terrible looking bridge. I’m always happy to see such cases because it’s so easy to make an improvement.

Not so in this case. After numerous waxups and trials of provisional bridges, she was still not satisfied. She started pointing out ways in which her new bridge differed from her old, ugly bridge as if she was suddenly missing the ugly old bridge. Nightmare. Numerous things to change, numerous times, they were changed back because the changes asked for were just not right. It’s too late to re-access the psychological profile of the patient and the patient, from her point of view, must be wondering if I’m really good enough dedicate myself to cosmetic dentistry. Why do other cases look so perfect in other people’s mouths but not in hers? Shouldn’t I be treating my patient’s equally?

In despair, I sought help from a great man. In a recent speech he made, I learned something important. Cosmetic dentistry is an aspiration and not an ideology. It’s going to take decades or even centuries to reach such goals. Equal treatment for all cases is false and flawed, and completely untrue.

Some people may not believe that these words came from a great man, but what are great words but words that cannot be challenged. Obviously, I lack such greatness and must therefore continue adjusting that stupid bridge.

It was a sad moment when I sent what might be my last denture case to SJ.

Some background info. SJ stands for Simon and Joseph. The two were formally dental technicians with the SAF. After the left the army, they decided to put their skills to good use and started a dental laboratory at Defu Lane, churning out highly economical dentures of acceptable quality. For the past 17 years at Hougang, I’ve been sending my denture cases to SJ. They have never disappointed me. Every morning without fail, the SJ delivery man (never got his name) would ride down to the clinic on his little scooter to send or collect cases.

After the move to Orchard, I still sent my denture cases to them. It was a bit inconvenient for me as I had to bring the cases down to Hougang for them to be collected and then bring the completed cases back from Hougang to Orchard. But with Hougang closed down, there is no more delivery and collection there.

One evening, I paid a visit to SJ and spoke to Joseph about collecting cases from Orchard. There is still a demand for cheap temporary dentures at Orchard. Joseph said that he was sad to lose an old customer. But his biggest problem is that to enter the city to collect cases, whatever little profit he makes from the denture will be wiped out by parking and ERP charges.

How ridiculously obvious to some yet not to others. So what to do? I’ll have to send my denture cases to new labs which do collect from Orchard. But many of these technicians are not familiar with my style like Simon and Joseph. What’s more, they charge a lot more. Maybe that’s to cover their ERP and parking costs. Apart from numerous phone calls from unfamiliar technicians who need clarification for my instructions, denture costs have also gone up tremendously. I can no longer afford to charge Hougang rates for my old regulars from Hougang.

We’ve been told by a wise leader to eat fish if chicken gets too expensive. Must be talking about ikan bilis as fish is always more expensive than chicken. What about dentures? If ERP charges are going to stop the cheap dental labs from coming down to Orchard, perhaps they could take the MRT? Let’s see how these wise leaders carry a few dozen stone casts and dentures down Orchard Road every day. Fish is cheap and stone casts have no weight. Which world are we living in?