“Hello, Tan Ah Kow si bo?” [is that Tan Ah Kow]
“Wa see. Lee siang?” [that's me. who is this?]
“Wa see Dr Chan.” [I'm Dr Chan]
“Si mi Dr Chan? Ban kee ei si bo?” [what Dr Chan? Pull teeth one is it?]
“#$@%&^!
Yes, it must be one of those nightmares recalling those years in Hougang. We didn’t exactly breeze through dental school. We had a hard time with patients who didn’t trust us. We were give a hard time by lecturers who probably believed in no pain, no gain.
I remember how absolutely ecstatic I felt when MOH staff first addressed me with a Dr in front of my name. In the Army/Navy, it was “sir” here and “sir” there. I really looked forward to private practice, but alas, the “Drs” and “sirs” suddenly disappeared. Instead, heartlanders from Jurong to Hougang called me “ban kee ei”. It didn’t matter that my name was on the cards and the wall. I was still addressed as “ban kee ei” and like a “ban kee ei”, I was sometimes treated like a barber, sometimes like a char kway teow man and sometimes even like a maid.
“Slope or straight? How you want your sideburns?”
That’s the sort of questions i had to ask my denture patients. Made to the patient’s order. Forget about designing dentures the way the school taught. The patient wants it his way, you’d better make it his way to avoid all the argument or worse, non-payment.
“Chilli or no chilli?”
You’d better follow the patient’s taste. Don’t argue if they insist on chalky white teeth.
“I lazy to brush. Clean my teeth for me.”
That’s when you’re treated like a maid. It doesn’t matter if my teacher told me so proudly that we are consultants and educators of oral hygiene and not teeth-cleaners. In private practice, you clean teeth for a living.
It’s been more than 20 years now. I’m quite used to all that abuse. But one that I still can’t get over, is being called “ban kee ei”. I think there should be a law that punishes people for calling dentists “ban kee ei”. Fine? Imprisonment? Caning? No, that would be too light. Let’s implement a form of punishment called TAGAD. Anyone found guilty will be barred from all dental clinics in Singapore. All dentists here will not be allowed to treat them and they are not allowed to even step into a dental clinic for a period of 10 or more years depending on the severity of the offence.
What happens if they get a toothache while on TAGAD? Well, that’s what TAGAD is for. ToothAche Go And Die.
