Yours Toothfully by Dr Chan Joon Yee

Our ministers are going to take home only $1 a month until the economy recovers…

Ouch! Who woke me up. So it was just a dream. But little could I imagine that the kaypoh topic http://www.newagedentists.com/?p=163 I discussed not too long ago would resurface not in Hongkong, but here in Singapore.

A female teacher had confessed to having sex with her student. Apparently, she realised her mistake and tried to end the relationship, but the boy threatened to harm her and her family members. A case of Fatal Attraction or did they prefer to believe in Yang Guo and Xiao Long Nu’s story?

Regardless of whether it’s Andy Lau/Idy Chan or Christopher Lee/Fann Wong’s version, Condor Heroes 神雕侠侣 tells the same story of a boy who fell in love with his female guardian. He even called her gugu or “aunt”. Everybody loved the story that shot Andy Lau to fame. It didn’t do very much for Christopher Lee and Fann Wong, but nobody was ever disgusted with the story.

Ouch again. We’re not only talking about real life, we’re talking about about a married woman and vulnerable teenager. It’s not just against the law, it’s an open target for desperate housewives whose sex lives are not half as exciting. What if this teacher were not married? What if everything went smoothly until the boy reached 18 and nobody threatened anybody? Would the public and the court be more forgiving towards the teacher?

Touching on this topic on Valentine’s Day holds a special significance. Legend had it that Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius Claudius passed a law that forbade the marriage of conscripted young men. A priest went against this law and secretly conducted marriage ceremonies for young soldiers. When Caludius found out about this, he had the priest beheaded. Over in Asia, eloping couples who were caught have been drowned in pig cages. Why celebrate Valentine’s Day? To show that nothing can stop people from falling in love? Not even the law? No even if it means risking our lives?

Our poor teacher. Was she just a horny, impulsive slut exploiting a boy’s curiosity or was she a believer that age difference and the teacher-student relationship should not pose any barrier to true love? Was she prepared to wait for the boy to grow up and bear the consquences if their affair was discovered prematurely (pun intended).

The days of drowning in pig cages, arranged marriages are long gone. Valentine images are cute and richly adorned. Out on the streets today, young lovers are sparing no effort or money to show how much they mean to one another. The clothes, the shoes, the hair, the accessories … But can all this be counted as true acts of sacrifice in the name of love?

“I spent $1000 this Valentines Day.”

“I spent $2000 OK!”

Sure, money is hard to earn, but what about the courage to take risks on partners who are not fully compatible in the eyes of the public? How many of these love birds actually sized up their lovers and determined that they were safe, uncomplicated, marriageable and have good prospects before taking the plunge? I know for a fact that many fellow Singaporeans do that. Would anyone spend $1000 or $2000 on someone whom they may have no chance of marrying? Isn’t it ironical that people who celebrate the courage of those who have been beheaded or drowned for love take careful steps to avoid complications before investing their time and money?

Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for prudence and I don’t like dangerous complications and emotional dead ends either. But I think it would be utterly inappropriate for all the pragmatists out there to celebrate this day. Only lovers caught in difficult situations have the right to celebrate the courage of those who have suffered or died before them.